I spent part of Thursday and Friday at the Great Lakes Metro Conference at Buffalo State College.  It was a great time, and I took away a lot from the presenters and participants.

During his presentation at a panel on Regional Governance, George Grasser from Partners for a Livable Western New York flashed a quote from James Howard Kuntsler, a visionary cultural critic and author of The Geography of Nowhere (if you click his website you’ll see he has a regular feature called “Clusterfuck Nation,” which made me LOL it up).

I first read Kuntsler during my junior year of high school when a brave English teacher decided to make the suburban kids in her Honors class read a chapter from The Geography of Nowhere, a book how bad the suburbs and cars are, essentially. If you haven’t read this book, you now have an addition to your summer reading list.

Anyway, when I saw the quote it made me think about that English teacher and then a list I made a few years back for my zine, oh, what? I had just finished up undergrad and decided to compile a list of the ten most influential non-fiction books I read during college. The Geography of Nowhere, which I picked up and read in full my freshman year, made the cut. Here’s the whole thing, in no particular order:

1. Writing a Woman’s Life by Carolyn G. Heilbrun
2. The Making of Black Revolutionaries by James Forman
3. Slouching Towards Bethlehem by Joan Didion
4. The Geography of Nowhere by James Howard Kuntsler
5. No More Prisons by William Upski Wimsatt
6. Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott
7. Sisters of the Yam by bell hooks
8. Schoolgirls by Peggy Orenstein
9. Love, Anarchy, & Emma Goldman by Candace Falk
10. Religious Poverty and the Profit Economy in Medieval Europe by Lester K. Little

As I noted then, important does not always equal best. These are the books that, when I was reading them, carved out little pieces of my brain and slipped inside. Their messages, lessons, and theses helped shape who I am and how I both interpret and react to the world. After I compiled the list and put it in the zine, I regretted that I didn’t include Cunt: a declaration of independence by Inga Muscio.

In the “Acknowledgments” section of one of his novels, American Gods, Neil Gaiman thanked the author of a book whose title I can’t remember at all. It’s really not important because what I took away from that was what Gaiman said about the book’s impact on him: it changed his life when he was “still of an age where a book could change me forever.”

At the time when I read Gaiman’s acknowledgments, I couldn’t imagine being “old enough” to not let a book change me forever. I think I get what he was saying now though. The above books were all read during a time where I was deeply and unabashedly open to learning and changing (for me, that time was more or less college in its entirety). And so they altered me.

But it’s not like now, at 26, I’m closed off to change or growth. I have grown and am growing. It’s just different, harder.

Slower.

College was a time during which I prepared to make big, life decisions but did not make them. Being changed by a book or a late night conversation or a Herstory dinner was easier because the lessons I took away from them didn’t necessarily slam into the reality of having to be up and presentable by 9:00 a.m. And, as I’ve discussed before, I had time.

My list since graduating college is much smaller but here’s what would be on it: The Omnivore’s Dilemma by Michael Pollan, Mountains Beyond Mountains by Tracy Kidder, and one I finished yesterday, Baby Catcher by Peggy Vincent.

What does your list look like?

Tags: authors, books, lists, neil gaiman, non fiction, reader, reading.

In list format. Go!

1. In the course of two weeks, I dropped my old phone in a lake (it died) and my new phone in a toilet (it lived). The new phone is BlackBerry and I love it, which means I’ve gone to the dark side or sold my soul to the devil or something. Whatever. HAVE YOU EVEN PLAYED BRICKBREAKER BEFORE? Best. Time. Suck. Ever.
2. My visit with Brynn was lovely and decadent, although hardly long enough. We ate a completely over-the-top dinner at Left Bank on Saturday night and then promptly changed into pajamas and played Yahtzee. Yes, I know this post is titled “Exciting times in the life of Whitney.” Yahtzee + pajamas + Brynn = exciting to me.
3. Today is my last day as a 25 year old and to celebrate I am joining friends and family at a karoake bar tomorrow night. A small group of us ended up there in December for Sean’s birthday and the evening has gone down in history. It’s already been requested that I perform “Fancy” by Reba McEntire again.
4. Sean and I are going camping Saturday morning to celebrate my birthday in a decidedly less loud and drunken way. We’re packing up our tent and supplies and heading to Letchworth State Park. I went to college in Geneseo and while I used to spend significant time at Letchworth, I haven’t been back since I graduated. I’m really looking forward to a good hike and some quiet time with Sean.
5. Speaking of Sean, he bought a grill last Thursday and has managed to fulfill every stereotype about men and grilling in one week’s time.
6. Ok, that’s all I got.
7. Xoxo.

Tags: birthday, randomness.

In honor of my dear friend Brynn’s visit this weekend, I am presenting a special Brynn Edition of Five Photo Friday. She and I plan to do the following this weekend: talk, ride bikes, eat lots of food, talk, drink white wine, read the paper, paint our toenails, and talk. Can’t wait; she gets her at eight.

(1) Brynn at the Lake Placid diner in Lake Placid, New York. This place is so delicious and perfect that I kind of want to drive six hours just to eat there. Like right now. (2) A care package Brynn sent me a couple years ago. Her mother buys these trashy mags and sends them to Brynn, and then she sends them to me. This time she also included fun tights. (3) A sickly-sweet photo of Brynn in New Orleans in January 2005. She loves ponies and there were all these pony-hitching posts all over the city. We had to take a picture. (4) When we get together we like to play Yahtzee. Here is one of my yahtzees, I am the best. (5) Brynn reading Forever by Judy Blume on our vacation on Tilden Lake, summer of 2007. We took turns reading each chapter aloud.

BONUS PHOTO CLICK YER MICE HERE!

Tags: brynn, five photo friday, friends & fancies, friendship, photography, yahtzee.

A friend of mine recently said that there are two kinds of people: those that need quiet, alone time to recharge and those that get their energy from being around other people. She corrected herself almost immediately and allowed there are more than two kinds of people but still.

I think that more than two or three or seven kinds of people, it’s all about balance. Some people need more alone time but obviously gain much from being around people. Others may only need a retreat from noise and contact once a month or so, and are otherwise social butterflies. I am, hands down, the former.

Nothing buoys me more than a good visit with a close friend but when it comes to routine, day-to-day endurance, I must have some time alone with my brain.

And so here I am. It’s Sunday morning and I’m at a coffee shop in Canandaigua while Sean and his family are out on the lake. I’ll only be here for another twenty minutes or so but I already feel fuller, charged.

We came up Friday night and spent all day yesterday hanging around Sean’s cottage with his family, eating food and fishing. I dropped my cell phone in the lake and took a two-hour nap. We roasted marshmallows and dipped our toes in the water. A lovely visit, one that will continue when I get back down to the cottage.

One of the things that I love about Sean’s family is that they are accepting of this sort of behavior. There isn’t any guilt attached to napping or staying behind to finish a chapter in a book. It’s the sort of approach that I imagine develops with a big family.

All of this makes me think of this, again.

Tags: alone, canandaigua, may sarton, me myself I, quiet, self-indulgence.

My trip to New Orleans was great. I paused there, before I chose “great,” because I couldn’t decide if a word better described my weekend in NOLA than a simple, direct “great.” None do.

I flew in on Friday afternoon around four, and made it to our hotel by five. Natalie and Anna were already there and getting ready to go out, and I quickly changed from my slimy-feeling airport clothes to a sundress. Ah, sundress weather.

That night we walked down Royal Street, and through the French Quarter to Marigny. We got some gumbo and drinks along the way–maybe the only authentic New Orleans food I ate all weekend–and then stopped into a quiet, little bar on Decatuer.

I loved catching up with Natalie and Anna, and then getting beyond the catch up and into some good conversation. We pumped money into the jukebox at the bar and took ridiculous photos. Later we walked home along Bourbon Street (had to do it, just once) and found a table in a liquor-to-go shop suitable for people gawking.

The rest of the weekend continued along in this fashion: easy, fun, effortless. We went on a bayou cruise/swamp tour (you pick the name you like best), took nap, drank yummy cocktails at this rotating carousel bar (click the link), and walked all over the City.

I came back to Buffalo on Monday afternoon feeling refreshed and high from new sights and old friends.

Great, just great.

Tags: anna, friends & fancies, friendship, natalie, new orleans, NOLA, travel, trips, vacation.

I’ve missed the past two weeks ’cause I’m a bum. I’m in New Orleans this weekend and will have some southern flavored photos soon. For now…

(1) During a basketball game last week, Sean got elbowed in the eye and it split open. He got 3 or 4 stitches and then had a wicked black eye. It’s finally turned from purple to pink, over a week later. (2) Some beautiful orchids hanging in the solarium at the Junior League’s 2009 Showhouse. I went with my mom & aunt, and posted more photos on Flickr. (3) Sean & I at a BBQ joint in Springfield, Massachusetts. We went up there Friday for his brother-in-law’s graduation from law school. (4) Me, my mom, and my aunt waiting in line for the Showhouse. (5) The whole gang (i.e. the families) at Rene’s law school graduation.

Tags: five photo friday, photo, photograph, photography.

Today was a good day. Sean and I, tired from two days on the road, slept until about 11:00. We got up and drove over to his old apartment to get a bed frame he left there, and then went to Urban Roots to get mulch for the garden. I had hopes of planting my tomatoes and maybe even some flowers but it’s supposed to get down to the 30s tonight. My friend Maura, who now works at Urban Roots, told me that a few older women came into the store and said that they’d been gardening around here for years. They warned against planting anything before June 1st. I think I will listen to my elders.

Before we left on Friday, we agreed that Sunday would be a “get shit done around the house” day and I have to say, planning these sort of things in advance is the way to go. I often get swept up in a mood when it comes to projects around the house and expect, unfairly, Sean to match my mood. Today it worked out well and since about 5:30 or so we’ve been able to relax and enjoy ourselves.

One of the projects was rearranging the apartment. For about five months now, we’ve been planning on moving our bedroom from the tiny, closet-sized room it was in to a slightly bigger room. We debated moving into what is now the living room and either constructing a new wall or installing some kind of door (french doors, curtains, etc.), or moving into one of the actual other bedrooms. I’ll spare you the boring details of our decision and just say that I’m now sitting on my bed in one of the actual other bedrooms. Oh, and we have a bed frame now. Which means our bed and boxspring is not on the floor. Which makes us adults. Which is awesome, I guess.

I realized fairly recently that I was having this “fight or flight” argument with myself in relation to my house, both inside and out. I found myself unsatisfied with my living space and our backyard and porch situations. At the farthest point of the “flight” instinct, I thought about what it would mean for me to move out. Kind of ridiculous, no? I mean, I own this house.

At some point I convinced myself that I needed to wait to do things like put in a garden, buy an outdoor table for my porch, and otherwise invest in the more aesthetic improvements to my house. I guess I was thinking that all the major, practical things needed to get done before I could focus on frivolous things like a garden, despite the fact that I didn’t think anyone else’s gardens were frivolous. And because of this false choice, I wasn’t enjoying my house. At all. I would go to other people’s places and think, “Wow, I wish I could sit out in the backyard like this at my house.”

Again, kind of ridiculous. I wasn’t doing any of the improvments to my house that would make me enjoy it more and as a result I wasn’t feeling motivated to do anything, neither the beautifying projects nor the necessary ones. And like a lot of the revelations I have, the solution to this internal argument wasn’t complex: I needed to get to work.

So I cleaned up the porch, bought inexpensive but attractive outdoor furniture, and started maintaining a small but rewarding garden. Inside the house, I finally hung up pictures I’d framed months ago, decided on where we’d put the bedroom, and planned a work day with Sean. It snowballed, this getting to work thing, and now I feel excited about

When I bought this house at 23 I expected that the corresponding responsibilities would challenge and change me, and they have. What I didn’t appreciate then however, and what I love now, is that the opportunities to be challenged and changed are both loud and quiet but will always, in the end, be heard.

Tags: around the house, homeowner, homeowner heaven, house, love, Sean.

I came across a post on Jezebel today about Laurie Halse Anderson’s new book, Wintergirls, and a New York Times piece on its potential to be a “trigger.” The book is about a girl with anorexia.

In the interest of full disclosure, I haven’t read Wintergirls yet. From what I know about Anderson and her books though, she’s an incredible YA writer who meticulously researches her subjects, everything from yellow fever to slavery to (now) eating disorders. She’s active in the YA community and is something of a darling among librarians.

Also in the interest of full disclosure, I am a woman who had an eating disorder as a teenager. I know a thing or two about “triggers” because I used them–at times I actively pursued them.

From the Times’ blog:

The new young adult novel “Wintergirls” by Laurie Halse Anderson explores the haunting struggle of a teen with anorexia. It’s one of the books featured in the Book Review’s special spring section on children’s books, and it raises a troubling question: In writing about eating disorders, are authors, unwittingly, creating an alluring guidebook to the disease?

Jezebel does a good job of answering the question and I pretty much agree with their take on the situation:

Kids are impressionable, but they also don’t need to be patronized, and no one needs to be protected from intelligent, sensitive work. Whatever our concerns, to target a smart book by a proven YA author seems to me disingenuous, and as any of those conscientiously-compiled banned books lists will shows, censorship of any kind is a very slippery slope.

I’m intrigued by this conversation. When I was sick, there were books that served as triggers for me: tell-all, self-help type guides by recovering anorexics, and YA novels by Francesca Lia Block’s (particularly the Witchbaby series). However, more than books it was television, celebrity magazines, and my own depression that caused me to indulge in self-destructive behavior. Also, it was the huge rush of hormones when I first went on the pill–but that’s another story.

I think it’s possible that if I was 16 and anorexic when Wintergirls came out, I’d somehow use it to further my eating disorder. But it’s way more likely that I’d use that frickin’ diet created Madonna’s trainer that Us Weekly can’t stop raving about.

This post is kind of all over the place and I apologize. Thoughts? I know there’s a whole other set of disorders and behaviors that have been explored in YA lit (cutting, for instance) and I’d love to hear from those of you who may have read them and have ideas.

Tags: anorexia, books, eating disorders, jezebel, Laurie Halse Anderson, lit, triggers, wintergirls, YA lit, young adult.

I’m late on this but wanted to share my thoughts regardless.

I remember the recently-deceased Jack Kempas a Vice-Presidential candidate but not as a Buffalo congressman (even then I was too young to form any meaningful opinion on his politics). It’s been interesting to hear about his career and his role in shaping the Republican party now that he’s died and everyone’s talking about him. The common theme to the mainstream coverage is that Jack was a uniter, a Republican who cared about making the party more diverse. From the LA Times:

In many ways Kemp was ahead of his time in Republican circles, calling for the party to embrace all races and ethnicities and pushing for inclusion of blacks, Latinos and Jews.

“He was viewed very much as not only the carrier of supply-side economics, going back to the Reagan days, but he was really the guy who always talked about the ‘big tent,’ ” Feulner said Saturday.

I’m sure some of the fawning is overboard but after reading a letter from Kemp to his grandchildren posted on Buffalo Pundit, it does appear that the Congressman was sincere in his desire for more inclusion. Whether or not his policy choices reflected that desire is another story, and one that Bruce Fisher has tackled better than I ever could over at Artvoice.

Anyway, this brings me to the memory that all the Jack Kemp coverage reminded me of in the first place: Late last year I joined PUSH Buffalo in an anti-poverty march throughout downtown. The event highlighted PUSH’s success at getting Mayor Brown to commit to 500 housing rehabsover five years (to compliment his original 5-in-5 demolition-only plan) and, like most demonstrations, carried a couple extras messages from its participants: a call for people-centered policy, better education and work opportunities, etc. It was respectful and calm as we marched from Lafayette Square to the Mahoney State Building to the Federal Building.

As we marched away from the Federal building en masse, we passed the Erie County Republican Party headquarters on Delaware Avenue. Approaching their ground level windows, I could see that three blond women were watching the parade of participants and, as I got closer, I realized that they were shouting at us through the glass. They pressed McCain/Palin signs to the window (fine, whatever) and mouthed the word “freaks.” More offensive than that though, they lifted their middle fingers and flicked us off (yeah, not ok).

This was an anti-poverty march. Not a pro-Democrat or pro-choice or pro-anything-super-controversial march. Why flick us off and call us freaks? Why not prove some of us wrong and cheer us on because hey, poverty sucks. And better education is great, jobs too. It left such a sour taste in my mouth and really challenged my policy of not engaging in “f-ck you” type responses.

When I heard Cokie Roberts on NPR talking about Jack Kemp’s openness and sincere fear that the Republican party was alienating people of color, I remembered that march and the response from the local Republicans and I thought, ick. I don’t think the Democratic party is perfect by any stretch but shit, I wish that Jack Kemp’s message of inclusion wasn’t such a story because I think it means that it’s more of an exception than a rule. And that’s sad.

Tags: buffalo, jack kemp, politics, PUSH buffalo.

Kansas Edition: the last of my shots from our March trip out West. I’m planning on a massive photo uploading and taking session this weekend.

(I) Uncle Terry’s biscuits, so freakin’ good. (2) Josh walking to the car at my Uncle Terry’s house in McPherson. (3) Our motel and its sign in Marion. (4) My Uncle Leon’s dog Misty, cutest thing ever. (5) A diner called “Mom & Dad’s” where everything is homemade and the coffee is 75 cents.

Tags: five photo friday, kansas, photography.

Dear Person Who Smashed My Car Last Week & Drove Off Without Leaving a Note,

You know, I’m kind of impressed. You could’ve just dented my bumper or clipped my mirror or left a big scratch along the driver’s side door. But no, you had to do all that and then take it one step further. You had to total my car and then go along and hit three other vehicles down my block. Way to crank it up a notch. Really, impressive work.

Now, let me say something else: SCREW YOU. Seriously, what the f—? I’m assuming that you were drunk when you hit my car because I can’t think of a single other reason why someone would hit it that hard. Perhaps you were suicidal? No, you were drunk. Which leads me to another statement: WTF WHY WERE YOU DRIVING DRUNK ASSHOLE?

Anyway, I would like you to know that my neighbor saw your car (including a sighting the next day when you came back to check out the damage), we know what it looks like, and we’re scouring the neighborhood for you. And then I’ll follow up with the police.

In the mean time, you’re dumb.

Sincerely,
Whitney

Tags: car, open letters, rant, vent.

(I) Sara & Steve on a Sunday afternoon. That organ is now gone. (II) One of my favorites from last October’s trip to Puerto Rico. I look at it and sigh sometimes. (III) Girl talk with Sara last month. She just came back from Saudi Arabia this week and brought with her lots of stories and a beautiful scarf for me.  (IV) Tiny Size chiclets, a childhood fave. (V) Spring, finally.

Tags: five photo friday, photo, photography.

Over the past month I’ve done some serious planning for this July’s West Coast trip with my brother. Two weeks ago I booked our flights–about $530 for both of us–and since then I’ve made hotel, hostel, and camping reservations in various points between Portland, Oregon and San Francisco.

As our itinerary shapes up, it looks like we’ll fly into Portland and spend 3-4 days in the City of Roses. The plan is to stay with various friends of mine but to be honest, I have to firm up these “reservations” before I can say for sure where we’re staying. I’m hoping we can borrow or rent a couple bikes and explore the City on wheels. I plan on drinking lots of coffee from some of the country’s best roasters and eating more food than is advisable. Josh and I read about Voodoo Doughnuts in a Portland guidebook and feel we must make a stop. I’ve been reading the Little Red Bike Cafe blog for a year or so, and want to have at least two meals at the cafe. Plus ice cream.

From there we’ll head to the Oregon coast in a rental car and stay a few nights at yet-to-be-determined Oregon State Parks. Unforunately for us, every yurt in every State Park is booked on the nights we’ll be there. It appears that we’ll be tenting it after all but I’m not going to get too bummed, there are plenty of tent sites within view of the Pacific ocean. I’m hoping we’ll get in a nice hike, eat some yummy seafood, and take endless amounts of photographs at the tidepools. A reader of this blog pointed me towards the Treehouse Institute in Cave Junction and if we can get past their two-night minimum rule, we’ll sleep high up in the branches for a night.

Next we’ll head down into Northern California and the Redwoods National Park. I booked us a night at the Redwood National Park hostel which, according to its website, is one of the Top 5 hostels in the country. Judging by photographs and descriptions, I think we’re in for a treat. The hostel is steps away from the beach and a hiking trail–it will be hard to choose. The next day is our biggest driving day but since we’re going through the Redwoods, I doubt it will be anything but boring. We land that night at another hostel: the Point Reyes National Seashore hostel which, according to its website, is a certified green business. Both hostels have well-furnished kitchens and I think Josh and I will end up making use of them.

Point Reyes puts us about an hour and a half outside San Francisco. The plan right now is a to wake up early in Point Reyes, explore the National Seashore a bit, and head into the City (and drop off the rental car). We’ll have three days to explore San Francisco before heading back to Buffalo on a (thank you Lord) direct flight from SFO. Josh and I have both agreed that we want to walk, walk, walk all over San Francisco until we can’t walk no more. Golden Gate Park, the Mission, and those crooked streets are all on the agenda. Our mother says we’ve gotta check out Alcatraz so we’ll likely do that as well. And I decided to splurge on a hotel for the last three nights (thank you Hotwire for your cheap, cheap rates).

Oh man, I’m excited for every single day of this trip. There isn’t one that I imagine being less fun than any other, even our driving day.

If you have any thoughts or suggestions on things we should do, places to eat, or where to stay, please leave them in the comments.

Tags: adventure, camping, family, hostel, Josh, oregon, oregon state parks, point reyes national seashore, portland, redwood national park, road trip, san francisco, west coast.

Today was the kind of Sunday I always hope for: stayed in bed until about 10:30 or so, made steel cut oats, ate them at the kitchen table with the windows open (hello Spring!). Sean and I played tennis for a little bit and then sat outside in the sun while reading and drinking coffee. I made it through two issues of The Sun. Inspired by my new neighbor who was cleaning up her backyard, I eventually got up and cleaned off our junk-filled front porch. I also seeded the backyard with some new grass seeds, and hung some Christmas lights up on the porch.

Now, with my belly full of black bean burritos and guacamole, I am going to catch up on some email and finish reading the Sunday Times. I needed this day and its quiet. “Mental Health Days,” one of my old bosses calls ‘em.

Tags: mental health days, relaxing, sundays, weekend.

I am alive and well. The past couple weeks since I got back from Kansas have been nothing short of a whirlwind. My body aches and my brain is rusty. And, at this moment, I’m not quite sure if I can see the end of it.

A recent moment: I tried to use my automatic car door un-locker (what is the name for that thing?) to unlock the front door to my house. I pushed and pushed that button until it hit me–what am I doing?–and I shook my head with self-pity. It’s been that kind of exhausting folks.

SPRING IN KANSAS

Anyway, Spring is here and soon all the trees will be flowering and I’ll walk around in another kind of daze, this one completely lovely.

Tags: daze, exhaustion, photography, spring, tired.