Looking at the treehouse photos again (Linda’s is to the left) makes me long for my own land on which to build a small, woodsy retreat. I’ve been on and off pining for something like it for years. At this point, the idea is only a dream but it’s fun to get lost in a fantasy, right?
Back in September some friends and I drove to Alleghany County, about an hour or so from Buffalo, and stayed the night at Jen’s Uncle’s cabin. The property included a one-bedroom log-cabin with a giant living room and a nice front porch, as well as a little sleeper cabin a ways up the hill. There was also a pond full of leeches and a platform off which Steve and Sean fished.
The little sleeper cabin, pictured at right, added to my retreat-obsession. I’ve imagined a cabin totally devoted to my writing practice–books on the wall, a Southern-facing window, a quiet view. I’ve imagined a small but sufficient weekend house for my non-existent children and me. I’ve imagined some version of this in my non-existent backyard.
Since I see myself living the next couple decades in a city, I don’t think a backyard treehouse or writing cabin is really an option (do you like how seriously I’m considering this “fantasy?”). I think the realistic option would be to buy property in Alleghany County and build my dream from scratch. Like Linda Aldredge and her treehouse.
Sigh, dreams.
Anyway, I’m going to find Michael Pollan’s A Place of My Own at the library and stoke the fires of my obsession a bit more.
How about all of you? Anyone out there want to share their dreams of a cottage by the sea or a cabin in the woods?
I’m feeling the serious need to purge & sort through the unattainable, unreasonable, and completely do-able:
I wish I drank tea instead of coffee. I wish I kept a journal of my blessings or wrote a list of Three Things I’m Grateful For every night before bed. I wish I got eight hours of sleep and did yoga for 15 minutes every morning. I wish cleaned my shower more. I wish I ate brown rice instead of pasta and packed a lunch instead of buying it. I wish I liked going out more. I wish I had the energy to wear trendy clothes and the patience to hang out until the end of the party. I wish I finished more books and sold my crafts on Etsy and remembered things I read about in the newspaper. I wish I woke up when my alarm went off. I wish I followed routines as often as I professed their importance. I wish I knew how to put on eye make-up. I wish my apartment was painted entirely white. I wish I wrote things down more.
During our staff training, my boss told us that when we were walking with kids in the woods, we should let them climb up the steep sides of the hill and into tree limbs. We should practice a reasonable amount of caution but also cautioned us against being too strict. “Kids need to climb on stuff,” he said.
My whole childhood of Extreme Caution flashed before me, and I knew that it would take some serious work for me to keep that limiting, nagging fear in check. To know when to say, “Get down,” and when to say “Keep going.” In order to be comfortable with letting the kids go, I’d have to get more comfortable with letting myself go too.
That “no” instinct can be strong, dammit.
My brother & his former bandmates at a photo session I did for them a couple years back.
Even before I worked on the farm I identified this need to say “yes” more. I remember writing in my journal once during my freshman year of college that I wanted to be less of a “Stop Sign” and more of a “Go Sign.” I think being a camp counselor for kids on a working farm complete with live animals and live wires helped me realize that goal fairly quick–at least in a physical sense.
But it’s a slippery slope, ain’t it? It’s easy to get bogged down in new rules, old habits, unfamiliar routines, and suddenly find yourself being more of a grinch than you want. I feel bogged down, I feel grinch-ish a lot lately. Between the house flooding and bills and working in a [sometimes stifling] bureaucracy, I find myself rejecting ideas waaay more than I’d like.
It’s a bit late (about 25 days late) but I’m resolving to be more GO! in 2009. This is both a “less talk, more action” thing and a “say yes as much as possible” thing. Wish me luck.
I’m so tired and happy. I watched the Inauguration today at the Ellicott Square Building downtown with about 50 other people, and we all clapped along with the President’s speech. Tonight I went to a “Worker’s Ball” (a.k.a. a potluck) and watched the First Couple dance to “At Last.” Oh, sigh.
I’ll write a more formal update with my thoughts tomorrow but for now, I mostly feel ready. I’m ready to get to work under this guy, to push him and myself and each other.
In honor of Steve & Sara’s trip to Puerto Rico yesterday, I thought I’d post this video of an evening in our front yard, a.k.a. the beach.
Since I’ve started working a 9-5 job, I’ve come to appreciate both the purpose and the necessity of a real do-nothing vacation to recharge. Can’ wait to get back there.
So I’ve discovered Polyvore and it’s become my ultimate time waster. I can’t imagine how many more hours I’d have spent there if it was around when I was a teenager. My lord.
Anyway, I’d thought I’d share my Christmas gifts set on the blog since I didn’t write about the Holidays much at all (they were great). And hey, why not talk about all the loot you got instead of the joy & giving & love (there was lots, like four separate Christmases worth)?
Looking at the treehouse photos again (Linda’s is to the left) makes me long for my own land on which to build a small, woodsy retreat. I’ve been on and off pining for something like it for years. At this point, the idea is only a dream but it’s fun to get lost in a fantasy, right?
devoted to my writing practice–books on the wall, a Southern-facing window, a quiet view. I’ve imagined a small but sufficient weekend house for my non-existent children and me. I’ve imagined some version of this in my non-existent backyard.
