Something I had to get off my chest

Dear Person Who Smashed My Car Last Week & Drove Off Without Leaving a Note,

You know, I’m kind of impressed. You could’ve just dented my bumper or clipped my mirror or left a big scratch along the driver’s side door. But no, you had to do all that and then take it one step further. You had to total my car and then go along and hit three other vehicles down my block. Way to crank it up a notch. Really, impressive work.

Now, let me say something else: SCREW YOU. Seriously, what the f—? I’m assuming that you were drunk when you hit my car because I can’t think of a single other reason why someone would hit it that hard. Perhaps you were suicidal? No, you were drunk. Which leads me to another statement: WTF WHY WERE YOU DRIVING DRUNK ASSHOLE?

Anyway, I would like you to know that my neighbor saw your car (including a sighting the next day when you came back to check out the damage), we know what it looks like, and we’re scouring the neighborhood for you. And then I’ll follow up with the police.

In the mean time, you’re dumb.

Sincerely,
Whitney